"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Five Forays into Masochism

i. Of Allegedly Wide-Open Spaces

‘It’s the loneliness that’s the killer.’ Hm.
So says that fellow, calls himself ‘Seal’.
An’ I reckon he’s onto somethin’…
‘Course I’d like to think it’s the killers,
make us so lonely,
but that shit ain’t true.

Take two men, never met, not oncet,
but each one of ‘em knows somethin’
o’ th’ other’s wants:
what he never has had, or been able…
Yessir, you can take that to the bank.
It’s plumb crazy, all that killin’ an’ grief.

And crazy still, that bottomless well
where a man can hide
anything, like a joy or a free breath,
all tamped down ‘til there’s just nothin’.
Maybe they’d meet ‘fore it come to that.
See one another comin’ up the road a piece…

I guess it could happen.


ii. Command Performative


by the embers of a slow-burn
(thirty-plus years if you want to know,
if it makes a difference…)
a flickering-up-into night
illuminating the most tentative of all homes
a home that will dissolve into arms
strong as empty nights
strong as we hold our ground
on this sun-burned, California hill
 

There is no letting go that which was not firstly held.

then a breathing pure as weeping
holding me down or holding me up
closer on not needing to predict the
no longer needing to predict
 

How should I not have dissolved into those arms?

for the very Earth
tossed in bright, lightless arms
a spaciousness in hearing in the wind
an infinitely taut response
and we handsomely sounding together
founded another collapse
in the event of all possibility



iii. Good Night / Good Morning

Thinking of you
I pray you are safe in the arms of Morpheus

Waking anon
I shall pray you are happily held in Eos' care

That nights and days us keep
Until we have faces
And blessings between


iv. Writ Little
 

that he knew I did not yet know the words

When his arm slipped under…
He must have known I should think.
Or, is it precisely I should not think?
I don’t think that is what he means.
 

the voice long tired by disputatious ramblings

But I can point to the suchness: ‘đhă’.
Let us say first it is not force alone,
Let us say next it is an exchange.
Better, a flowing, a fathomless heart.
 

looking to foster an enthusiasm for devotion

Yes, I know he shouldn’t stay forever.
I know he mustn’t forsake all others.
But when he knows me supported
in the curve of that headspace…
 

when his arm slips under and he knows and 


v. Relativity

Sometimes when I see him
I just stand there with the others
and probably seeming dumb
as on a train unsure
am I passing or being passed?
or is it both? in one window
all would-be points of reference
obscured
yet there are platforms and
somewhere
the adjacent rail-bed lies empty
so many events

Sometimes when I see him
in accelerated motion-toward
this arc of a slower timespace
a visit from my future
in his face
I just stand there unseen
thinking already a fond farewell